ramblings of a madman

A wise friend of mine whom I really respect once told me something.. you don’t know what you’ve got till you’ve lost it.. and no I’m not referring to a lover you had in the past.. but someone with a more deeper and intimate relationship with you.. the loss of a loved you perhaps.. frankly speaking those very lines are true.. from personal experience i never really thought much of that statement until the day i lost someone very dear to me.. my grandfather.. well initially i couldn’t have really been bothered so i thought.. but it turns out i was wrong.. he sudden demise affected me greatly.. they day i got the news i broke down immediately.. i was so devastated that i couldn’t even bring my self to attend my last 3 classes for the day.. the way i reacted came as a total shock to me for before this i never really gave a damn about him.. in fact i actually hated him(things that happened in my childhood that i shall not elaborate on about) but now when i look back at what has happened i realised i wouldn’t be half the person i am today because of him..

a couple of months back before it happened i made a solemn promise to him that i will not repeat the things he has done.. initially i procrastinated in changing my way’s but after his demise i decided that i couldn’t delay any longer and so hence that day i have changed.. I’ve reduced my smoking and completely stopped drinking.. i started saying thing that were daggers to my friends but it was the truth nonetheless.. its may have hurt them and if they did I’m sorry.. but i couldn’t bear living a lie anymore.. when i was confronted by one of my batch mates i told him everything that was going on and that had past.. i was surprised he understood how i felt but than again he has more experience in life than me.. that night we just talked at i realised my mistake.. something in order to protect the ones you love and care about you need to lie.. be it a small lie.. we talked about many things but the one thing he said to me that night in which i really agree and understand is this.. You will never be successful until you learn to appreciate you parents.. i agree with this as many of you would.. but than let me pose to you a question.. do you really understand this statement?? i highly doubt so.. for me to fully understand this statement i looked back at my 19 years of life.. all my trails and tribulations.. i reflected the whole night thinking about those words.. and i finally came to understand what it really meant.. it was something terrifying yet truly beautiful.. i wont spoil it for you by telling you what it mean.. i’ll let you ponder on about it.. as the day’s progressed i learnt how to truly appreciate my parents.. 3months later when i made a phone call to my mum she noticed something different about me.. just trough that short little phone call.. though not many people have realised it but i am a totally different person now than before.. though i have made a few enemies during my transformation.. i realised something.. i cant just go around changing myself to suite everyone.. so i decide to stick to what ever i have become be it good or bad.. people come and go but the ones who truly remain steadfast by your side are just a handful.. your parents and family members are the only people that will always be there for you.. no one can ever replace them.. no one not even your lover even thought you share a special bond with him/her your family primarily your parents are the ones who will always be there for you.. so don’t ever try to replace them for you will have entered a new world beyond your understanding.. a world full of despair and pain..